....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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