You're completely useless in the revolution.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
