I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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