i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
