I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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