dude i'm inner monologue high
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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