So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
