this boner is exhausting
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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