maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
