i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize