I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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