Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my mouth tastes like poor choices
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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