we have pet lesbian snakes
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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