I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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