Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
