Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Every concussion has its silver lining
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
