He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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