Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
