Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I miss vodka workout Fridays
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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