when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
