he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
