I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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