I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
tell me about the fingering
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