new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
