problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
