If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
