final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
