my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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