I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
