she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
