You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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