The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
