I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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