My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
