BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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