If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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