So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
