You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
