ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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