I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
