I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
