anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
