Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
God, I missed his penis.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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