The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
