okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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