hotel room ftw
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
