Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
