So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
