Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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