Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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