you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
