Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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