She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
