I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
