The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
