I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
