Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
