Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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