some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
