their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
dude. I can hear the air.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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