I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
