So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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