all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I am one with the molecules
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
