i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize