Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
