my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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