Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
