Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
