working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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