Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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