Pants 0. Shit 1.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize