i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
