Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
