Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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