she was so not down for the gang bang
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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