I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Farmville is her only friend.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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