if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm always down for nudity.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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