You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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