i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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