Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
