Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize