The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
