If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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