just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We need to get me chipped asap
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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