she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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