But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
